Look at the image below. I’ll assume you know it’s Dolores Aveiro, are intimately familiar with her role in modern football and the future role of the cheeky little chap she’s taking to school. If you don’t, click on this link and roll your eyes at your own ineptitude.
Back? Good. Suitably chastened? Good. Right. In this photo, you will note that Dolores is wearing a t-shirt that appears to feature a photo of the aforementioned grandson, although Twitter speculation has also thrown up the possibility of Borat. Upload it to your favourite photo editing software and zoom in, if you like. Search for Borat t-shirts and evidence that Dolores has any affiliation for the atrociously narrow minded character that emerged from Sasha Baron Cohen’s addled brain. I couldn’t find any. Or for that matter, any sign of a moustache that would immediately identify the t-shirt as Borat merchandise.
Assume for the sake of argument that it is Cristiano Jnr. Is it weird that Dolores is wearing clothing with her grandson’s face on it? Is it strange that such garmentry exists in the family home? Or is it adorable and cute and I really, really need to stop overthinking everything and being super cynical?
Answers on a postcard (or Borat t-shirt) to the usual address.
While we’re on the subject of atrocious moustaches and young children (come on, when are we ever going to get the opportunity to use that link again?), here’s Red Hot Chili Peppers vocalist Anthony Kiedis and daughter Everly getting all up in Barcelona’s training grill this morning.
The Chilis are currently touring in Spain with shows at Barcelona’s Palau Sant Jordi tomorrow and Sunday, so expect gifs of Neymar and Dani Alves performing some sort of shimmy in the VIP area to flomp heavily into your social media sites first thing on Monday.
While the residents of Barcelona have to wait until tomorrow to feel the earth move, the people of Naples are still basking in the aftershocks of their team’s Champions League victory over Benfica on Wednesday.
Or at least the anthem. The above is a reading from the National Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology near Vesuvius, which was reportedly taken at the time the Napoli fans were singing their heart out to the infamous tune.
We’d love to see the read out from when Tottenham Hotspur’s Kyle Walker had a crack at it. Assuming their equipment didn’t shatter during the recording, obviously.