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  • in Europe / North and Central America / The RestingBitchFace Narrative

The Resting BitchFace Narrative: Back to the future

  • by Kelly Welles
  • September 9, 2016
The Resting BitchFace Narrative: Back to the future

Some stories, like the Real Madrid Player Hotness Poll, lend themselves to the Resting BitchFace Narrative. Others, like that of Marta Galego, hurl themselves bodily at it, slapping at the glass walls and screaming, like an ungainly cat with discipline issues.

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Marta Galego was refereeing a game in the Catalan Second Division when she heard someone critiquing her career path from the stands. Instead of giving up her Sunday to officiate a game of football for the benefit of everyone, apparently she should have stayed at home in order to “wash the dishes”.

While the world remains full of horrible problems, it’s quite cheering to think that for the first time in living history, some women are fortunate enough to be able to respond to this crap. Galego suspended the game until the stand up comedian involved was ejected from the stadium and was applauded by the crowd for her actions.

Play resumed and the game finished Marta Galego 1-0 Sexist Prat.

–

Spain’s 8-0 thrashing of Liechtenstein the other night was notable not just for braces from Diego Costa, David Silva and Alvaro Morata, but for the fact that the side are now unbeaten in fifty-four FIFA World Cup qualifying games.

March 1993 was the last time La Roja were defeated in a 1-0 loss to Denmark. Since then they’ve won forty two qualifiers and drawn a mere twelve.

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That’s twenty-three years. Fernando Torres looked like this the last time Spain were beaten in a World Cup Qualifier.

Sobering.

–

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And while we’re on the subject of pretty things that happened a long time ago, Landon Donovan is reportedly coming  out of retirement for the rest of the season to shore up LA Galaxy’s injury ridden front line.

LandyCakes, 34, has remained in and around the Galaxy set up since his retirement in 2014 and according to an interview with ESPN, was an analyst on the game vs. Vancouver Whitecaps a few weeks ago when Gyasi Zardes, Jelle Van Damme and Steven Gerrard suffered injuries.

Since my retirement, I have remained in close contact with many of the staff and players on the Galaxy. I spoke with some of them that week and they jokingly asked if I was ready to make a return to the field to help fill some of the void left by the injuries and departures.

While a lack of match fitness is likely to prevent Donovan from starting many games, he presents an interesting option for manager Bruce Arena as the Galaxy pursue a sixth MLS championship. It’s also an interesting addition to the trend of players returning to former clubs to “do a job” as we say in industrial England.

Embed from Getty Images

This transfer window alone we saw Paul Pogba, David Luiz, Mario Gotze, Mats Hummels and Alvaro Morata all returning to clubs they’d previously represented and all of whom have participated in a “meaningful soccer game” in the last two years.

Effortista investigations have revealed that Landon is the only one to have posed in his skivvies for Vanity Fair though.

So who’s winning now, eh?

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