We all love a good game to go along with our football match. Whether you want to use it for drinking, to make yourself execute a certain number of jumping jacks, or just play an old-fashioned bingo game, we’ve composed a list of events likely to occur during the 2019 World Cup. Feel free to use our list or add your own to the bingo card and play along with every game you watch. We guarantee it’s more fun than getting into arguments with misogynists on Twitter (but if that’s what you want to do, we’ve added that as a square, too, so points to you!).
- Unrelated patriotic/propaganda ads/discussions
- Example: Fox Sports doing a piece about D-Day
- “She is the female (male footballer)”
- No, she is herself!
- Watch out for this any time Fran Kirby is on the pitch.
- Random tangent about men’s team
- How often do commentators mention the women’s team during a men’s game?
- Arguing about VAR
- We will never agree with referees. Never.
- Discussing the attractiveness of players
- We all know women only watch because the men are attractive. It has to be true the other way, too.
- Missing a goal because of a bathroom/snack/other break
- Does it make you a good luck charm? Or a bad luck one?
- French pun
- All Effortistas love a good pun.
- Zooming in on heads of state/dignitaries at the game
- Football isn’t political, remember?
- Over-exaggerated French pronunciation
- There are so many unnecessary letters.
- Talking about an unrelated game
- It’s not like there is anything on the field to focus on.
- Double points if it’s a men’s game, and one and a half points if it is the USWNT/your home team.
- Giving us the wrong information about a player (club, where they’re from, what they’ve done, etc.)
- We all make mistakes. It’s just more visible when you’re a commentator.
- There are ticketing problems
- What are you doing, FIFA?
- Only mentioning a maximum of two players from the team.
- It’s not like there are eleven players out there doing things.
- Men’s clubs breaking news/information during games
- At least they know everyone is already on Twitter?
- Muting the commentary
- Please, just shut up.
- Starting a Twitter kerfuffle
- Oops. It happened again. Make sure you have your facts lined up, or they will pounce.
- Concussion protocol isn’t followed
- At least the men’s and women’s games are equal in this one thing?
- Choreographed goal celebration
- They were ready to score.
- Stadium does the wave
- It’s a sports inevitability, right?
- Praising Olympique Lyonnais
- They are pretty badass.
- Set piece goal
- We all love when the practice pays off.
- Fanzone shot
- We all love fans celebrating.
- Showing a video of a male athlete/celebrity supporting the team
- It’s only legitimate if men recognize the competition.
- Camera zooms in on a fan with a painted face
- Show your pride!
- Gif-worthy reaction shot
- We all know the reactions we mean. The ones you’re still using even though they are seven years old.
- Scheduling your life/social events around games
- Yeah, I’m busy…
- Problem with your feed/stream
- Streaming football means struggling with streams.
- Coach being excited or frustrated
- Coaches have emotions, too. Maybe we can even get a gif out of it.
- Overusing team nicknames
- We can’t just keep referring to them as their country.
- The team dominating possession isn’t winning
- It’s just football.
- Eiffel Tower shot
- Remember, we are in France!
- Alexi Lalas making stupid comments
- Lalas making us cringe is as certain as the ball being kicked off.
- Incorrect pronunciation of player names
- You’d hope the commentators would at least try.
- No cards until the second half
- Can they make it that long?
- Using all three substitutions
- Whether it’s tactical or for injury reasons, they have the subs for a reason.
